Hi, hello, and welcome back to WORDS MATTER. Today, we're kicking off the very first episode in a special four-part series all about FOCUS. Each episode over the next four weeks is thoughtfully designed to help you shift your perspective, sharpen your focus, and step fully into your Possible.

Today's quote is one that I had to learn the hard way. It's my very own, and it's completely reshaped how I approach my life.

"Detach from the outcome. Attach to the progress."

Friend, are you outcome-obsessed?

Do you find yourself so consumed by that end goal that you miss everything beautiful along the way? Maybe you've worked so hard to reach a specific destination only to get there and think, Is this it? Is this all there is?

It leaves you feeling let down and disappointed because it didn’t bring you the joy and fulfillment you imagined. How often do you rush past those moments that truly matter because your eyes are so fixated on that imaginary finish line? Do you ever find yourself thinking, I'll be happy when… I'll be proud of myself when… I'll be successful when… Only to get there and feel like something’s still missing.

Well, here’s the thing: We live in a culture that glorifies achievement. We're taught very early on to tie our success, our happiness, even our self-worth to whether or not we achieve a specific result. It’s no wonder we become outcome-obsessed. But when we focus too much on an end goal, we lose sight of the journey along the way. We miss the lessons, the growth, and the joy that can only be found in the process itself.

As someone who's battled most of her life being outcome-focused, I had this lesson really driven home for me in August of 2022.

Most of you know Chris and I are avid hikers. I spend so much time poring over the AllTrails app and hiking blogs, readying us for each hike we do. I love that research part of it—it fits my personality very well. And it's because of that preparation that by the time we step foot on the trail I’ve chosen for the day, I’m fully convinced it’s going to be time and gas well spent, and it’s going to be everything we love for a hike to be.

I had my eye on a seven-miler at McCully Heritage Project in Hardin, Illinois, for quite some time. I’d spent so much time ensuring it was going to be perfect. I was thrilled to read the reviews and find out it checked all our boxes: Scenic? Check. Challenging? Check. Dog-friendly? Check. Everything I looked for.

We set out that day with anticipation and excitement. To say I had my hopes up for what the day would be is a complete understatement. An hour and 15 minutes away from home, we drove with everything we needed and stepped foot onto that trail, fully prepared—mind, body, and soul—for the picture-perfect hiking day.

About a quarter of a mile in, we rounded a bend, and my heart sank. The trail was completely overgrown with tall grass, and with it being August in the Midwest, that meant one thing: ticks.

Even though our dogs are treated with a tick preventative, this was way too big of a risk to take. We craned our necks, trying to see if the tall grass ended, but nope—it extended as far as we could see. We had no choice but to turn back after barely getting started. I was crushed.

All of that planning, all of that excitement—gone in an instant.

Chris suggested an alternative: hiking at Pere Marquette State Park, which we had passed on the way there. I was so attached to the day I had envisioned that I couldn’t see the new opportunity in front of me. My frustration clouded everything.

Eventually, I gave in. We made our way to Pere Marquette, and begrudgingly, I stepped onto that new trail, still holding strongly onto my disappointment.

And then, out of nowhere, I hear Tony Robbins’ voice in my head saying, “Discipline your disappointment, Deanna.”

Yikes. Discipline your disappointment.

That Tony Robbins quote couldn’t have come at a more opportune time because it was in that moment that it stopped being just words I had heard him say once upon a time and became a decision I got to make.

I realized right then and there at that Pere Marquette trailhead that I had a choice. I could let unmet expectations and disappointment ruin my entire day, or I could let go of what I thought the day should be and open myself up to what it could be.

And you know what? That hike turned out to be incredible—scenic, challenging, pet-friendly, and no ticks. It was everything I didn’t know I needed.

Because I didn’t allow the disappointment to ruin that day, that trail has become one of my favorite local trails anytime I need a great workout or to clear my head. What started as a huge disappointment opened up an opportunity to experience something even better.

This leads me to ask the question:

Why do we get so attached to outcomes?

Friends, it’s human nature to crave certainty. We want to know our efforts will lead to a specific result. We imagine that future in vivid detail, and we cling to that vision because it gives us a sense of control.

But the problem is life gets lifey and doesn’t always go as planned. And when our reality doesn’t meet our expectations, we feel frustrated, disappointed, and even lost.

Here’s another truth: Being attached to an outcome keeps us stuck. It blinds us to new possibilities, prevents us from finding fulfillment in the moment, and halts our ability to experience joy in every step of the journey.

When we detach from the outcome, we free ourselves from the pressure of perfection. We stop tying our happiness, success, and self-worth to whether or not we achieve that specific result. Instead, we make space. Space to experience the journey for what it is—a series of steps, each one meaningful in its own way.

So how do you apply this to your own life?

1) Embrace flexibility. Life doesn’t always go as planned—and that’s okay. Be open to detours, pivots, and unexpected opportunities. They might lead to something better than you had envisioned.

2) Celebrate your progress. Take time to notice how far you’ve come, even if you’re not where you want to be yet. Progress isn’t about perfection. It’s about movement and forward momentum.

3) Stay present. Let yourself find joy in the moment you’re in right now—the small wins, quiet moments, and lessons you’re learning along the way.

4) Have a vision for what’s next. Life isn’t about reaching one summit and stopping. It’s about continuing to climb, explore, and grow. When you know your next mile marker, you stay inspired and engaged with the process.

Friends, as you go through this week, I challenge you: Take a deep breath, let go of the weight of the outcome you have in your head, and anchor yourself to the beauty of progress instead. Be inspired by the possibilities and dedicated to the process. Let yourself find joy in every single step, even the challenging ones. You can learn to appreciate the entire path itself, not just the view from the top.

"Detach from the outcome. Attach to the progress."

When you focus on the progress, every step becomes meaningful. Every step is a reminder that you’re moving forward, growing, and becoming the person you’re meant to be.

And when you finally do reach that destination—whether it’s a goal, a milestone, or a dream—you’ll realize it’s not the destination itself that matters most. It’s who you became and what you experienced along the way that will stay with you forever.

Friends, the words we see and read, the words we hear, and the words we say to ourselves and about ourselves—what we’re doing and how we’re doing it—they all matter.

Your WORDS MATTER because YOU MATTER.

I’ll see you next week for part two of this special four-part series on FOCUS, where we’ll explore another powerful quote to help you shift your perspective and sharpen your focus so you can step fully into your Possible.

Until then, have a great day.