Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of WORDS MATTER. Do I have a doozy for you today? Yep, we're unpacking a quote that challenges us in extreme ways.

No one is coming to save you.

I first heard this quote from Mel Robbins. You know Mel - motivational speaker, author, podcaster. I saw a video of her saying this a few years ago. She also tweeted about it in 2018, saying:

"No one is coming to save you. No one is coming to push you. It’s all up to you. In fact, you need to parent yourself if you want to make your dreams come true. You CAN do it. You just have to stop waiting to feel like it."

Wait, Mel. What? No one is coming to save me?

Whew, that hit me hard.

At first, those words felt harsh. But have you ever heard something that completely changed your whole life? That’s what this did for me.

Now, this quote - and the idea behind it - isn’t new. In 1994, psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden wrote in his book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem:

"No one is coming to save you. No one is coming to make life right for you. No one is coming to solve your problems. If you don’t do something, nothing is going to get better."

Both Mel and Nathaniel, in their own ways, deliver a message that is powerful, timeless, and deeply personal:

I am responsible for my own life, and you are responsible for yours.

So yeah, no one is coming to save you - and they’re not coming to save me. And that’s okay. It’s not their job.

See, I believe with everything I have in me that I am 100% responsible for my own health and healing. No one else should do that for me. It’s my job and mine alone because my life is mine. My husband’s life is his, my adult children’s lives are theirs, and my friends’ lives are theirs.

I don’t want the job of living someone else’s life - and I sure don’t want the job of being responsible for someone else’s health and healing. My job is big enough for me.

And that’s the beauty of it. When we take responsibility for our own lives, we stop carrying the weight of what was never ours to hold. That’s freedom, friends.

But to be 100% transparent, I didn’t always think this way - and I definitely didn’t always live this way.

For years, I was stuck in patterns of blame, codependency, and waiting. I waited for someone else to fix things. I waited for someone else to fix me. I wanted someone to swoop in and save the day - to save me. I blamed circumstances, other people, even myself for the state of my life. But I didn’t take action because that felt too hard.

Here’s what I’ve learned through all of that:

Blame is a thief.

It steals our time, our relationships, our dreams. It steals our Possible. It keeps us stuck.

Yes, blame is a comfortable trap because it shifts responsibility away from us and puts it onto other people.

But friends, blame changes nothing. When we don’t take ownership of our own lives, we give away our power. It’s like handing over the keys to a car we’re meant to drive. We end up stuck, spinning in circles of frustration and hopelessness.

When I finally decided to take 100% responsibility for my health and healing, everything changed. I realized that every aspect of it - from what I eat to how I move, to the boundaries I set, to the choices I make, even to my mood - is completely up to me.

It’s no one else’s job to make me healthy or whole.

Let me tell you, stepping into that kind of responsibility is one of the most freeing things I’ve ever done in my life. And here’s why: When we take ownership, we stop waiting. We stop blaming, and we start acting. And action is where change begins.

Ownership is the birthplace of transformation.

But let’s talk about what happens when we don’t take ownership. When we stay in blame or wait for someone else to save us, we lose time, opportunity, and ourselves.

How many times have you thought:

"If only someone else would fix this for me. If only someone would help me."

"If only this wasn’t happening to me."

Those thoughts keep us stuck in what I call our crap in the gap. It’s a vicious space between where we are and where we want to be, between who we are and who we want to become.

We all have this gap, and it’s filled with our own crap. That gap? It’s ours to close. No one else can close it for us.

But here’s the good news: We CAN close it.

It starts with ownership.

Taking ownership doesn’t mean doing it all alone. Nope. It’s not about isolation or struggling in silence. In fact, part of taking responsibility is knowing when to ask for help and having the courage to accept it when it’s offered.

Here’s what I know: If someone offers you a helping hand, it’s up to you to grab it. No one else can pull you out of your crap in the gap without your willingness to first climb.

Support, tools, encouragement - they’re all there to help you, but you still have to take those first steps.

I see this all the time with the women I coach. They’ve decided they’re ready to take back their lives, and I walk alongside them as they step into ownership of their health and healing. But they know I can’t do the work for them. I can guide, encourage, and support, but at the end of the day, the power is - and always will be - in their hands, just as yours is in yours.

So how do we start taking ownership? How do we move from a place of blame and waiting to action and growth?

Let me give you five questions to ask yourself if you feel stuck:

1) What story am I telling myself about this situation, and how can I reframe it to move forward?

Sometimes the way we see a situation is holding us back more than the situation itself. When we reflect on the narrative we’re creating, we can see if it empowers us or limits us. Reframing our story opens up new possibilities for action.

2) What is one thing within my control right now that I can do to create positive momentum?

When things feel overwhelming, it’s easy to focus on what we can’t control. Shifting our attention to what we can control - even if it’s just one small action - creates momentum and reminds us of our power.

3) What resources, tools, or skills do I already have that I can use to navigate this challenge?

Chances are, we already have strengths and tools we can use - we just need to take stock of them. Reminding ourselves of what’s available helps us feel more capable of taking the next step.

4) What would my future self, who has already overcome this, tell me to do today?

Imagine yourself on the other side of this challenge. What advice would that version of you give to the version of you today? This perspective helps us connect with our inner wisdom and take confident action.

5) Am I waiting for permission, or am I ready to give it to myself?

So often, the only thing holding us back is waiting for someone else to validate our choices. Recognize that we don’t need external permission - we can give it to ourselves right now.

Friends, you don’t have to stay stuck in your crap in the gap. You have the power to climb out and rise above.

You CAN be the superhero in your own story.

You CAN save yourself.

As always, the words that we see and read, the words that we hear, and the words that we say to ourselves and about ourselves - what we’re doing and how we’re doing it.

All your WORDS MATTER because YOU MATTER.

Have a great day!