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"Happiness Is A Journey, Not A Destination."

Episode 12 | WORDS MATTER with Deanna Ley




Welcome back to WORDS MATTER, friends. We are in the final episode of our four-part series on FOCUS.


Over the last few weeks, we've explored what it means to shift our focus - to detach from outcomes and attach to progress, to direct our energy toward what truly matters, and to reframe failure as feedback.


Today, we’re bringing it all together with one of the most important mindset shifts of all - understanding the difference between happiness and joy.


Today's quote is often attributed to poet Alfred D. Souza but is widely embraced as a guiding truth:

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination."


At first glance, it might sound simple. But when you really sit with this quote, it has the power to completely change the way you experience life. Because here’s the truth - happiness isn’t something you arrive at once you reach a goal, achieve a milestone, or check the next thing off your list.


And yet, that’s exactly how so many of us treat it.


We think:

I’ll be happy when… I lose the weight.

I’ll be happy when… I get the promotion.

I’ll be happy when… I find the right relationship.


But what happens when we get there?


The happiness is fleeting. Suddenly, there’s another milestone, another goal, another thing to chase. It becomes a never-ending cycle of almost feeling fulfilled - but never quite enough.


And that’s where the distinction between happiness and joy changes everything.


Happiness is circumstantial - it’s based on external events. When things go well, when life is smooth, when everything falls into place. But because life is unpredictable, happiness can be fragile.


If we tie our happiness to perfect conditions, it will always feel temporary, conditional, and out of our control.


But joy?


Joy is internal. It’s unshakable. And it’s always available.


Joy isn’t dependent on circumstances. It’s a mindset - a way of seeing and experiencing the world. It’s a deep sense of fulfillment that comes from embracing the entire journey, from finding meaning even in the hard moments, and from choosing to be present instead of waiting for some distant future to bring contentment.


And here’s where most people get stuck—they think joy is only possible when things are easy.


But life isn’t easy, is it? It’s messy. It’s unpredictable. It’s full of storms.


Think about the stormiest day you've ever seen - dark clouds, heavy rain, the whole sky covered. In that moment, it feels like the sun is completely gone.


But guess what? The sun never left. It’s still shining - it’s just behind the clouds.


And so is joy.


No matter what storm you’re going through, no matter how overwhelming life feels, joy hasn’t disappeared. It’s just behind the clouds.


And here’s the shift...

Instead of waiting for the storm to pass, what if you learned how to part the clouds yourself?


Because life isn’t about choosing either happiness or hardship. It’s about holding onto both. You don’t have to wait for life to be perfect before you allow yourself to fully embrace joy.


It’s not EITHER/OR… It’s AND.


You can be grieving a loss AND still find comfort in the laughter of a friend.


You can be facing uncertainty AND still feel gratitude for the stability you do have.


You can struggle with self-doubt AND still take bold action toward your goals.


You can feel overwhelmed AND still enjoy a quiet moment of peace.


You can be healing from something painful AND still experience deep joy in the process.


Life isn’t about one extreme or the other. It’s not about waiting for the hard times to pass before you allow yourself to experience joy. It’s about realizing that both can exist at the same time - that joy isn’t a replacement for struggle, but a companion to it.


And the more you practice shifting your focus, the more your brain wires itself to find joy - even in the middle of a storm.


This is why gratitude is such a game-changer.


We talked about it in Episode 2 - where focus goes, energy flows. When we intentionally focus on what’s good, even in the hard moments, we train our minds to seek out joy naturally.


But let’s take it a step further - because joy isn’t just about gratitude. It’s also about redefining success.


We touched on this back in Episode 1 - how progress matters more than the outcome. But let’s go deeper, because it’s not just about focusing on the process instead of the destination…

It’s actually about finding joy in the process itself.


So often, we get caught up in the mindset that success is just reaching the summit, achieving the goal, or finally crossing the finish line.


But what if success wasn’t about the destination at all?


What if it was about who you are becoming along the way?


Have you ever been so focused on a finish line that you completely missed out on the experience of getting there?


Maybe you trained for a race, and instead of celebrating every run, you only cared about the final result.


Maybe you built a business, but instead of appreciating every milestone - the ups and the downs - you were so fixated on the next level that you forgot to acknowledge how far you’d already come.


With a destination mindset, every time you get there, you think...

This can’t be it. This can’t be all.


This is what happens when we chase happiness as a destination instead of cultivating joy as a way of being. Because when we learn to experience joy in the process, we don’t have to wait until the end to feel fulfilled.


We get to enjoy the training, not just the race.


We get to celebrate the small wins, not just the big ones.


We get to find meaning in the struggle, not just in the success.


So how do we put this into practice?


First, acknowledge the clouds. Don’t ignore the hard stuff. Recognize the struggles, name them, and then choose to look beyond them.


Second, start looking for moments of joy - on purpose. Tiny, everyday moments. The warmth of your coffee in the morning. A deep breath after a long day. A text from a friend that makes you smile. The more you look, the more you’ll find.


Third, redefine what success means to you. Shift from focusing on the outcome to focusing on who you’re becoming every step of the way.


Because joy isn’t just in the arriving.


It’s in the learning.

It’s in the growing.

It’s in the moments in between.


Over these last four episodes, we’ve explored what it truly means to focus.


To shift from outcomes to progress. To direct our energy toward what matters. To reframe failure as feedback. And today, to realize that joy is found in the journey, not the destination.


Because your focus shapes your direction. Your direction fuels your momentum. And that momentum is what moves you forward.


Your focus can be your greatest asset. So ask yourself this...

"Are the things I am choosing to focus on today supporting the life I’m working to build?"


If the answer is yes, keep going.


If the answer is no, shift your focus.


You CAN, friends. I believe in you. But it's up to you if you WILL, and why you MUST.


Friends, the words we see and read, the words we hear, and the words we say to ourselves—about ourselves, what we’re doing, and how we’re doing it—they all matter.


Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER.


Thank you for being part of this incredible series on FOCUS. I’ll talk to you next week.


Have a great day.




For all of the other episodes, click here:

WORDS MATTER with Deanna Ley